Self-care is not something revolutionary, and yet it’s often the thing that’s the first to go when we get really busy as mums. So, this blog is for those mums who find themselves trying to find time and failing miserably. It’s for those who want to prioritise it but are just not sure where to even start.
Self-care made it’s mark on me as I rediscovered my role of being a mum. It’s something I talk about a lot in my story.
So what actually is self-care?
I like to describe self-care as intentionally prioritising taking care of yourself. What the ‘taking care of yourself’ can look like is different for each of us. However, the principle is the same; it’s about making time for you so you feel happier and in turn have more bandwidth to give to those nearest to you.
Why is self-care important?
My journey of becoming closer to what brings me peace and joy, may not be dissimilar from other mums. It all started with behaviours I had before having my daughter which were the need to be always on-the-go and in control.
After my daughter arrived, I couldn’t keep up. My energy wasn’t there and the speed of life had shifted. It wasn’t go, go, go (dinner, going out, travelling, another dinner) and I had no control either. I felt overwhelmed, exhausted and lost.
Self-care came at a time when I needed it the most but I didn’t label it as self-care then. I simply asked myself, how can I find joy, balance and peace within what felt like a battlefield of unknowns?
Sleep – unknown.
Breastfeeding – unknown.
Naps – unknown.
And it wasn’t the massages, getting a pedicure or any pamper-related activities that showed up. It was returning to activities I loved instead such as yoga, reading and enjoying a Netflix series (even if was for only 10 minutes).
I started to team things I loved with the moments that were the ‘unknowns’ and suddenly they didn’t feel as hard-felt.
Breastfeeding at 3am with my favourite Netflix show was something I looked forward to, so much so, I’d end up watching it to the end when my daughter had already gone back to sleep.
How can I get started?
It first starts by committing to it being a priority, and that there’s no use pouring from an empty cup.
Once you’ve at least realised this then the rest is somewhat easier. Here are 5 ways you can bring self-care into your routine:
- Excercise
It can be challenging to squeeze in exercise once you become a mum, but even five to ten minutes can do the world of wonders. Not only can exercise help you feel fit and healthy, it also makes you feel more energised.
A few ideas to try are:
- Include walks in your routine (something you can easily do with kids)
- Include exercises that can be 10 – 15 minutes routine like yoga
- Include exercises post-bedtime and stick to it as your time whether that’s a local class or something you do yourself
- Include exercise with your children such as swimming or cycling
2. Improve your sleep routine
Sleep doesn’t come easy as a parent especially in those early years. However if you can make sleep a priority it can help in so many other ways. Getting enough sleep can help to alleviate stress, boost both your immune system and memory.
Why not try:
- Going to bed 30 minutes earlier
- Not looking at your mobile or devices one hour before bed
- Reading in bed to help ease you into sleep
- Practising mindfulness at bedtime to drift into a deep sleep
- Using candles, baths and lavender essential oil to create a restful ambience
3. Make time for relaxation
There are many things that are important enough in your life that you will schedule them such as your cousin’s wedding, a play date or even getting your hair cut so why wouldn’t you schedule time for relaxation? After all, you’re a very important date to have.
With that in mind, consider:
- Using your phone calendar to schedule time in and invite your partner to support you in making it happen
- Considering simply things that could be 30 minutes or less, such as having a cup of tea in the morning before everyone wakes up
- Thinking about what relaxes you the most and make it a priority, if it is the massage, then don’t let 6 months pass before you get one. Try and see how you can make it work, and what you’d sacrifice to enable that one luxury.
4. Find a village and support networks
It takes a village to raise a child, so who is your village and if you don’t have one yet, how will you create one? A village isn’t about taking care of your little one so you can go on a date. No, a village are people in your life you can lean on for advice or a listening ear. They can support you through the highs and the lows, so why not:
- Think about your village – who are they? do they know they make part of your village and you’re grateful for them being part of it?
- Connect with new mums/parents through antenatal groups or play groups to build out your village
5. Start a gratitude journal/ journalling
Finally, when things move quickly it’s hard to look at what is going well. We have a habit as humans to focus on everything that is going wrong. It’s therefore important to stop and reflect, and write down what you’re grateful for. It could even be writing without any purpose except to brain dump.
Here’s a practice that can support you:
- Practice daily journalling by writing down each day 3 things you’re grateful for
- Free write in a journal anytime you have a lot on your mind to get it all out on paper. It will help move it on, and hopefully help you gain clarity on the situation at hand
- See purpose and have focus on your day or week by providing moments of reflection in your chaotic every day
What else would you add to this list? Is there anything you’re already doing that has been helpful?
And if five ideas weren’t enough then I have another 35 ideas in the blog below, so please bookmark it and return to it whenever you’re in need of more ideas: