The following quote by James Clear, author of Atomic Habits stopped me in my tracks so much so that this week’s blog is building on this very notion:
Some of us have a wild back yard right now and we’re struggling to find a way through it. While some of us have a beautifully manicured lawn that weaves it way to the back of the garden with clear sight of a table and chairs awaiting us to go back there and relax.
Which one are you?
Self-care gets all sorts of bad wrap. To be honest, I think it’s because it sounds very privileged. The only people who think about self-care must be people who have too much time and money on their hands.
But that’s where I believe the self-care hype and trends on social media don’t build the right picture.
Self-care for me is how James Clear describes it. It’s a garden that is your body and mind that needs care and shouldn’t be neglected.
There are many who are brilliant at exercising and sculpting their body, but the same effort isn’t given to their mind and vice-versa.
So what exactly does pruning your garden look like?
Well, I suppose it’s different for each and every one of us. After all no two gardens are the same and our needs are therefore different too.
Creating a habit
It needs to be intentional and habitual. How can you weave self-care into your month, week, or even day?
Month – a self-care evening planned to really chill out and connect with yourself.
Week – going to bed earlier, a digital detox or mastering your Sunday routine to set you up for the week.
Day – some mindfulness or getting outdoors to help calm the mind.
It’s both mind and body
Try to focus across both. The regular body self-care routine should be complimented by ones for the mind. What could that look like?
For the body – exercise like yoga, getting outdoors, soaking in a hot bath to relax and decompress, massages etc.
For the mind – mindfulness, finding a mum tribe to build a support network, therapy, meditation, gratitude journalling.
When the weeds take over everything
Let’s not get it twisted. It can feel challenging to prune a garden if we’ve let it go for a long time, so how can we get back on track when things feel overwhelming.
Know it’s a process – feeling more flamingo pink talks about the journey towards getting back to you again after having a baby
Understand your emotions – baby blues hit me hard. It’s key to acknowledge when you are feeling a whole heap of emotions and be kind to yourself.
So what do you do to take care of your garden? And how do you overcome the effort trap to ensure that it’s consistency pruned?