I recently returned from what I can only describe as a thought-provoking and transformational week. I was fortunate enough to secure a place on an incredibly life-changing marketing scholarship. And this was my second year of applying for it. Yes, I was that person bouncing back again to go at it again – and you know what, I only did it.
This year was my year. On reflection, last year wasn’t.
So why this post?
I blog a lot about self-care in motherhood and self-care shows up in all aspects of your life from family, health, career etc. so the career part is something I was so anxious about on return from maternity leave as I share in Where’s the gas pedal? Accelerating when you return to work.
The academy has only kicked off but it’s already taught me one key nugget: what got you here today, won’t get you there.
So what does this mean in the realms of self-care in motherhood. Well, for me it’s about pushing outside of our comfort zone and that doesn’t mean bungee jumping off a bridge.
Here’s how this message could be translated into motherhood:
- Be kind to yourself
The very notion of doing the same thing over and over again and getting the same results can lead to frustration (not to mention it being a sign of insanity 🙂 ). Plus, a constant stream of questioning ‘How on earth do I get past this hurdle?’. Be kind to yourself if you can’t see how to overcome a challenge with your child or within your life. Watch that negative self-talk as that can have an impact on being able to find the solution so breathe and start challenging the stories you’re telling yourself.
Related blog: How to look after yourself when you’re stressed the bleep out
2. Be open to new connections or opportunities
You can often find yourself retreating as a new mum. I certainly felt that in my early months of motherhood, too scared to go outside in case I couldn’t breastfeed my daughter and therefore not be able to console her screams. It was bloody nerve-racking yet the first step was signing up to a baby class where other NCT mums I knew were attending. What followed was oodles of confidence and also brand-new connections. I was okay to fail and also open to meeting new people, so much has come from that very simple step.
Related blog: Find your tribe and watch yourself grow as a new mum
3. Dream big
It may at first sound nuts to think about dreaming big when all you can think about is how do I pay nursery fees, get dinner ready on time and find time for myself to unwind. Yet, putting some time into thinking about the ‘Big picture’ of what you’d love life to be like as a mum can grow legs.
There’s a reason why a whole bunch of folk write in manifestation journals, draw up vision boards on Pinterest and so forth. Because put simply, it works. It’s how our brain is wired. It doesn’t know the difference between what’s fact and what’s not, so it can work in our favour if we keep telling it that ‘I will have that extension on my house to host incredible meals with friends, and have space for my family to play and connect’. I’m working on it right now so I’ll let you know if it happens!
Related blog: How to start a manifestation journal [Interview]
4. Be authentically you
We often think that to be the best mum we need to change who we are but what if you didn’t need to do that. What if instead you thought about the type of characteristics you’d love your family to see in you: caring? inspiring? playful?
Now ask yourself, are you behaving in a way that demonstrates those things or have you lost your way? Sometimes, we are focused on what we think we should be as mums and not tuning into what is congruent with us.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll keep doing what you are doing. In fact this idea has made me think about what I may do differently to demonstrate these characteristics for example, will I make a note of birthdays and special dates in my diary so I don’t forget?
So what’s getting you to that next stage? And just imagine, if when you start to believe that you can shape how motherhood is for you, what else that can impact?