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Let me start by saying that breastfeeding was hard for me to get going and it was just as hard to end.
This post isn’t the ultimate answer to weaning as one thing I’ve realised over the course of the last year is that every baby and mother is different.
However, I hope if you’re in the middle of that hard part, this post will give you hope that it can be done.
We can all relate to the many mixed messages of parenthood and notably breastfeeding. You may have heard things like:
- You should breastfeed for at least the first 6 months.
- Anything is good to be honest.
- At least a year.
- Until you’re ready to wean, don’t feel the pressure.
- But they’re too old now so you shouldn’t really anymore.
I feel exhausted writing this list so I know those who identify are feeling flat out bewildered by this barrage of conflicting messages. Bottom line, DO YOU. My personal advice however is to service your child and not yourself.
What do I mean by that?
We can become so emotionally attached that we are saying we are doing x for baby but really we are doing it for ourselves.
Empty nest syndrome when parents are at a complete loss when their children flee the nest is a thing and I can see why! It’s so easy to put your everything into your child that without realising you’re servicing your needs and not theirs.
So how does this relate to breastfeeding?
We need to think about the bigger picture. It’s okay to stop if you want to go back to work and don’t wish to pump, and it’s okay to stop if you’re ready and that’s it. We shouldn’t have to justify our why, we just need to be ready.
Here are a few tips from my personal weaning journey that I hope will help you:
1. Be ready
You need to have said you want to stop. It shouldn’t be because of your mum, friend or someone from your NCT group, it should start from YOU. This sounds pretty obvious but it’s usually the reason why many mum friends haven’t succeeded. They just weren’t ready and were forcing something they didn’t actually want.
2. Try different techniques
Don’t try one thing, it doesn’t work so you don’t bother again. Keep trying different things, one of them may suit you best. Here’s a video I watched that I found so helpful when considering the different approaches:
3. Stick on plasters over your nipple
Yes, it worked. Mostly because it’s psychological. Plasters on nipples are a barrier to just whipping it out to feed.
4. Be prepared for the protest
It won’t be smooth. If someone took away your favourite thing in this world would you not put up a fight? My daughter screamed on and off one morning for 30 minutes, for a few days (it then became less, it then became no more).
5. Don’t revert because it’s easy
Nothing worth anything in life is easy. You now have what you wanted, celebrate your journey, don’t mourn it. I know I never imagined getting past 3 months breastfeeding, I made it to 12 months. It wasn’t easy and on the flip side it was the best thing ever so that’s why I’m not sad it’s come to an end.
6. Speak to other mums
You may need support and guidance so lean on other mums. Share this post. Try and be as supportive as you can as it can be a stressful period.
7. Dream work makes teamwork
I am so fortunate to have a great team member in my husband. It does make a difference to be aligned with your partner on such matters so they can also support you. That 30 minutes of crying I mentioned, my husband was there and we took it in turns to try and calm her. The mornings where we sought to remove breastfeeds from, my husband did the morning wake instead to try her with her oat milk. I honestly don’t think I’d have had the mental capacity to have stuck it out without his support.
8. Think positively
Lastly, it is hard when you’re in the thick of it to think positively about what you are doing.
I reassured myself by knowing she’s at an age where a) she won’t starve b) she’s doing amazingly besides this!
That helped me to not think that I was taking away from her but in fact adding to her. I also used to use the cow milk protein allergy as an excuse as to why I couldn’t wean as what would I wean onto, but after she was one, I couldn’t use that and when I discovered courtesy of a friend the alpro growing up oat milk, then I really couldn’t use that!
Everything you may wish to change will take time. Be patient and persevere.
So in summary….
I now continue to have a thriving baby girl who loves cuddles. There’s no lack of closeness that we may think occurs, it’s just different. I feel personally she’s more independent too and this helps with her time at nursery but that could be coincidental.
Ultimately, I was ready, I had the support, I tried different things and didn’t give up.
We are already mums paving the way of making the impossible possible, so if you’re ready to wean then make it an intentional approach not flip-flopping.
You’ve so got this.