Pregnancy is a time of immense change and growth, both physically and emotionally. For many mums, it can be an overwhelming and isolating time if they don’t have a support network in place. That’s exactly where antenatal groups such as Isobel’s come in.
They provide a unique opportunity for mums-to-be and mums with babies or toddlers in tow to connect with others who are at the same stage, sharing their experiences and feeling normal no matter what those rose-tinted pictures on social media say.
Antenatal groups were an essential part of my maternity leave and journey to motherhood. They had a positive impact and provided me with more confidence, helping me to feel informed and supported pre-and post-birth. I was therefore delighted to speak to Isobel, a former antenatal teacher (who taught the class I went to) to hear more about her pathway to supporting hundreds of mums like me.
If you’re expecting or thinking about joining a baby class then read on to find out more about what they can involve. Daisy Foundation classes can be found across England. Before we dive right into the interview, here’s what Daisy Foundation say:
- Motherhood is raw
- Motherhood is an ever-changing journey
- Women deserve the freedom and flexibility to navigate their journey with unconditional support and evidence-based education
- Mothers need space to grow into their role
- An absence of continuous perinatal support affects the emotional and physical well-being of women and children
- Well-supported women become confident, authentic mothers who create secure children
- Well-supported women and authentic mothers have the potential to create a positive ripple effect for future generations
Love what you hear? Then you’ll love this interview with Isobel more as we discover her journey to becoming a mum first and an antenatal teacher second. Pop on the kettle, grab your brew and settle in.
1. What inspired you to join Daisy Foundation as an antenatal teacher?
I first found Daisy Foundation when I was pregnant with my daughter in 2014. It ticked all the right boxes for me in terms of what I wanted my birth preparation to be. I was already doing a hypnobirthing course and the two just fit so well together.
After an incredibly empowering birth, I then went back for the postnatal classes and it was so reassuring to see my teacher again and some of the members of my class. It was just what I needed in those early months; that feeling of coming home, somewhere familiar to someone who would look after me.
You could say there was always a special place in my heart that had Daisy’s name on it so when I saw the advert to become a teacher I leapt at the chance!
2. What makes Daisy Foundation different from other antenatal classes out there?
I’ve never been afraid to admit that I found that first year of motherhood incredibly tough, much harder than I ever thought I would. Growing up I was extremely maternal and always knew I wanted to be a mum one day but it completely threw me off after my daughter was born and I had no clue what I was doing.
I was treading water in the sea.
Fortunately, I had made some really good friendships from doing another antenatal class which became a lifeline but the course itself had taught us nothing about life with a baby and by that, I mean an honest representation of what we were all facing day-to-day.
I felt like I was doing everything wrong all the time.
It was as if my baby was broken because she appeared to hate sleep and had regular meltdowns. This wasn’t the picture I was painted in the classes that I went to and that’s where I knew the Daisy Foundation was different.
It was like warts and all.
‘Motherhood is hard/tell it how it is’ kind of vibe and that’s what I wanted to be able to tell new parents coming to me. I didn’t want to scare them or make them worry about what was to come but to be honest with them.
No one told me how much it hurt to sit down or walk after birth, how much I would bleed or if it was normal for my baby to want to only sleep on me.
I paid a lot of money for friends essentially and I wish I hadn’t.
3. What was the aim of your antenatal classes?
I wanted people to feel like they weren’t the only ones struggling and I knew that’s what the Daisy Foundation courses would enable me to do.
There is nothing worse than feeling like you’re doing it all wrong when it’s supposed to be the most natural thing in the world. Every book I read, every blog or Instagram post showed me this rosy picture of motherhood and I felt like a failure.
I didn’t want that for any mum or parent that walked through my door.
I wanted them to know that I struggled and it’s ok if they are struggling too. Because it does get better, and if it’s not then I could signpost them in another direction to get further help.
I appreciated anyone I came into contact with who was honest with me about how bad their day was as it made me feel normal.
It permitted me to say ‘yeah I’ve had a rubbish day too’ and then go and get a coffee with them.
I wanted to give people that safe space to say things how they are and celebrate the wins however small they might seem.
I started every term of baby classes by asking the parents their names and to tell me what has been a win so far that week. It could be epic like their baby sleeping through or just as simple as making it to the class on time (or at all!).
4. Tell me more about Daisy Foundation. What is it and who is it for?
Daisy offers an incredible continuity of care from conception until the baby is two. With both local and online options and a selection of classes, workshops and group sessions that meet the needs of expectant mums and new parents from early pregnancy right through to toddlerhood – continuous perinatal support that helps you to achieve a positive pregnancy, confident birth and an informed and supported journey to confident motherhood/parenthood.
It’s for anyone and everyone, no matter your birth or parenthood preferences. We want you to be informed and supported.
5. What classes/workshops are available?
Daisy Birthing
I ran Daisy Birthing which is delivered in 6-week blocks and it’s a combination of yoga-based movement, three different breathing techniques, antenatal education and birth hypnosis and relaxation over 90 mins per class. It was my favourite class to teach. I think that’s due to the fact I went to it as a pregnant person but also because of the way it makes mums feel at the end of every session. You don’t realise how much you need it until you’re there in the moment.
Daisy Parent
Delivered over 6 weeks and is 15 hours of content. The great thing about Daisy Parent is it can be booked as a group course for 6 weeks or some couples choose to do it 1:1 which is lovely as you get to know them well. You can also choose to do just certain elements of the course, either Birth, Baby and Postnatal or Infant Feeding. We’ve got you covered.
Active Birth Workshop
This is a condensed version of Daisy Parent at 4 hours on all things Active Birth, so we discuss positions that will help your body work more efficiently, what hormones will help or hinder and importantly how your birth partner can support you, both physically and with decision-making techniques.
It covers some massage techniques, discussions about water birth and aims to help the birth partner feel empowered whomever they may be.
Post-natal classes
Baby Tinies and Wrigglers
Postnatally, I was running Baby Tinies and Wrigglers which are two different classes. Daisy Tinies is for just mum and baby from 6 weeks postpartum and it’s the most gentle class I’ve ever been to. It’s not a bells and whistles class, you don’t need a single prop, just you and your baby. We incorporate massage techniques over a 6-week block and of course, there’s some singing (would it be a baby class without singing?) but it’s a postnatal class for mums in disguise.
The subjects covered range from diastases recti, sleep to teething and so much more. The best bit is the relaxation at the end, a chance for mum to just close her eyes for 5 mins and just be with her baby. It’s not always calm of course but when it is it’s just magical.
Wrigglers is a little bit more chaotic and busy as it’s for babies who are more mobile at 5 months and we have lots of movement for them, plus so many props and nursery rhymes which they love. It’s such a joy to see their faces light up when they know what is coming next and watching them grow and develop and learn to do new things each term is an absolute honour for me.
Daisy Mama
Lastly, there’s Daisy Mama, a postnatal class just for mums. It is 1 hour of mind and body movement plus relaxation. It focuses on that transition to motherhood, helping the body to heal after birth, and gives tools to mums by educating them on acupressure points to alleviate stress and mindfulness techniques to help relax the mind and body. It focuses on the idea that this is their time to reclaim as their own and they are so deserving of that. I ran this a few times during lockdown.
6. What did you find to be the most popular class and why?
I think Wrigglers as it’s just so much fun. The babies are at such a lovely age and mums can do a lot of the same songs and moves at home so it’s something that the baby learns through repetition too.
I’ve had parents repeat this course so many times that they are almost too old to still be there and I can’t help but think they must be bored by now but still they rebook! So I must have been doing something right.
7. If mums/parents who attended your class had to describe them in 3 words, what do you think they would say?
Empowering, Safe and Magic!
8. How does Daisy Foundation help mums with their well-being?
I think it helps them in SO many ways it’s hard to put into words. It all starts at the point of birthing where our focus is on empowering mums to know that they CAN give birth. We educate them to know the biological ways but we also work on the psychological ways and use positive affirmations and positive birthing imagery to help them feel more confident going forward.
The same is true of all the postnatal classes even if you think it’s just a baby massage class, we are giving you that space each week to just breathe. We want you to let the tears fall if they need to, and they do. We want to give Mums the confidence that they can do it, tell them that they ARE doing a good job and it will get easier.
It’s that weekly check-in that’s so important.
They aren’t just another person in a class, they have a name and that’s why we sing all the mum’s names in our welcome song. When you’ve had a baby the easiest thing to do is talk through the baby to the mum and never ask them how they are or what their name is just things like ‘how’s baby sleeping?’ ‘are they feeding well?’ and so on. I don’t want that in a class I run. I want mums to feel acknowledged and human again.
Lastly, we have Daisy Mama which is giving mum’s permission to have some time just for them. The problem is allowing yourself to do that when you feel guilty for anything not child-focused.
9. What has been THE BEST feedback you received/or the highlight of your role?
I did this job for five years and nothing was greater than a recommendation from someone you’ve taught previously. Of course, it’s so nice to get positive feedback (and I welcomed negative feedback too as it’s always great to learn to do things differently/better) but when someone is coming to you because someone you already taught said they should then nothing could beat that.
10. How would you describe your journey to becoming a mum?
My journey to becoming a mum was complicated and not plain sailing by any stretch. My husband and I had lost a baby in 2013 so we were hesitant to try again for fear of the same thing happening but after a while, we decided to give it another go.
I was waiting for the 12-week scan and hoped that this time things would be ok, but unfortunately, my daughter’s nuchal fluid was extremely high and they asked me to have some extra tests. Given our results, the probability of our baby having a chromosomal abnormality was 85%.
After everything we had been through with the miscarriage, this wasn’t what we were expecting or had planned for.
We kept extremely positive and for each test result after that our odds reduced further and further.
However, our pregnancy was still full of unknowns and anxiety so when she was born and everything was ok there were so many emotions that I wasn’t expecting and perhaps contributed to how hard I found my transition to motherhood.
11. Have you felt challenged by motherhood? If so, in what way and what have you done to overcome it?
YES! In so many ways. Even now eight years in I struggle with my patience and I find some days hard because she’s growing up and that brings complications.
I’ve realised that with motherhood you never stop learning, every stage brings new challenges and yes in a lot of ways it gets SO much easier when they stop needing you for everything but then you have challenges in other ways like teaching them about their emotions and how to express themselves, friendship difficulties, how to be a nice human being and all those easy things 😉 So I’m accepting that this isn’t a thing you can sit and wait out.
You are in it for the long haul. It’s relentless and doesn’t stop which I think is the most challenging thing for me and always has been. There are no days off.
Also knowing that I’m raising a girl who will one day become a woman with her children possibly and how everything I do shapes her as a person.
That fact alone can be overwhelming at times. I guess just acceptance is key here. Accept that as a parent you will always have work to do on an emotional level to help them grow up but you won’t always get things right. You are only human and we aren’t designed to be perfect.
12. What do you do for self-care?
I don’t believe in the typical ‘self-care’ marketing that we are sold as mums like having a bath or a shower because I think we deserve more than the chance to carry out basic hygiene. I think self-care is finding and doing things that bring you joy away from your children. You were someone before they arrived and sometimes that person gets lost or forgotten about but it’s so important that we remember them and the things that we loved to do before we became mums. Whatever it is that you end up doing, the most important thing is to let go of the guilt for doing it.
I used to feel awful for doing anything away from my daughter but I soon realised I was a much better person for having filled my cup on my own/in my way and I’ve now learnt not to feel bad about it because if I don’t look after myself and my own mental health, how can I look after my family?
13. What advice would you share with any mum who is trying to navigate the ups and downs of motherhood?
My biggest piece of advice is just: Be kind to yourself.
This gig is HARD.
Harder than you might have thought at first and no one is a perfect parent.
We try our absolute best and that IS more than good enough. Don’t waste time punishing yourself for not getting things right all the time or finding it difficult. It IS difficult but it does get easier. I promise.
14. Where can we find out more about Daisy Foundation?
Check out their website and search by your area to find your nearest antenatal class:
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Empowering expectant parents through antenatal education
I hope you enjoyed this interview with Isobel. Since being interviewed, Isobel has had to move on from her role as an antenatal teacher after five years. Her honest reflections and sharing of her story are raw and refreshing.
Motherhood is HARD and it’s okay to find it overwhelming and even lonely at times. That’s where antenatal groups like Daisy Foundation come in. They provide valuable information, a safe space to be you and to hopefully connect with other parents too.
What next? You can do two things if you fancy:
Sign up to the free self-care challenge to explore easy-to-implement self-care ideas.
Join the waiting list for the self-care boxes, curated cosiness for the soul.