I was sent an inspiring LinkedIn post this week. It’s a beautiful story that one friend shared with another that goes like this:
‘When flamingos feed their babies their crop milk, they start to lose their own colour – often then turning a pale or even white colour. It’s when their babies become more independent and can eat on their own that they begin to regain their pink colour’.
So where are you on the gradient of pale/white colour to pink? Are you back to feeling more pink and feeling like YOU again?
When we become mums it impacts us all so differently.
But if there’s one common thing that grounds us is that we are different afterwards.
That manifests in a myriad of ways.
When you go from Pink to White, 0 – 100 real quick
My personal story of going pale was those first 3 -4 months of total consumption and absorption in trying to keep up with my newborn.
I was trying to keep up with breastfeeding, trying to keep up with sleeping, as well as pumping, not to mention eating regularly and well, and of course, tidying the home.
I had lost all sense of pink but frankly at that point, it didn’t matter.
When it did start to become a challenge and I was searching frantically for tints of pink on the edges was when the sleep deprivation hit rock bottom.
Hourly wake ups, combined with breastfeeding on and off the breast all night became a sure recipe for exhaustion.
It wasn’t something a quick nap in the day could fix.
It was a whole rethink of how I wanted to be as a mum, and also reframing the narratives I was telling myself.
I put aside the not doing enough and feeling like I couldn’t get ahold of this to I was doing everything I could and more.
When being a mum takes over and you go to extreme lengths
I was seeking out how to get breastfeeding going so that meant:
- Trips to breastfeeding cafes
- Calls to the helpline
- And joining La Leche League on Facebook.
All of these things supported that journey.
I was doing more than enough.
I was in need to find balance and deal with a ton of emotions which meant:
- Joining Mindful Mums to receive tips and advice on how to handle those stressful moments
- Getting out more to meet NCT friends
- And making the park walks a part of my daily routine.
These all helped towards finding more balance.
I was wanting to desperately reclaim moments that I saw robbed and reframe them which meant:
- Embracing and claiming those early wakes by combining them with Netflix
- Or twinning the cluster feeding with my favourite series meant it was a time I looked forward to.
Accepting and loving the person I had become after becoming a mum by being open to connect with new members within my mum tribe as well as consider how I wanted to show up when I returned to work.
All of these moments were important to getting back to pink.
How long does it take?
I’ve read 2 years is the time it takes for a mother to feel more like herself again after a baby, and for me that does feel right actually.
But what I realise now is that my journey is more important than the pink I have proudly shining. It’s those pale/white moments when I was in the trenches that shaped me. I didn’t think then I wasn’t me, I just saw myself as a different me. Now I can proudly say that I’m connecting both before baby and after baby Tanya’s and it’s something that’s starting to get easier.
So what does this mean:
- Ensuring that it’s a priority to me so it should show up like this in every aspect of my life – at work, amongst family and friends
- Thinking about combining exercise with my daughter, it doesn’t have to be a class just for me, but yoga in the front room can work just as well
- I’ve changed and that’s OK, I actually love the new mum me, and it’s someone who is much more future planning than before
- Going for it in every aspect of my life, as life is fragile, temporary and it must be seized to be the role model I wish to be for my daughter.
So what does becoming more pink again mean for you?
For 40 ideas to help you be more pink again check out: Self-care ideas: 40 ways to feel good in motherhood