Becoming a mum can be overwhelming, exhilarating and damn right exhausting. I’m not sure anything could have truly prepared me for it, however, if I had to give some advice to a new mum-to-be then I’d have to tell them this:
1. Breastfeeding is NOT a walk in the park but don’t worry there’s plenty of help out there.
I could write a another blog or blogs (plural) dedicated to this very topic as I have so much to say on this. In short, my journey to breastfeeding was hard. It was full of tears, frustration and utter confusion. I didn’t get the support I needed, and had to seek out my own support network to keep going. It was emotional, but on the way I discovered that there are some incredible resources and people out there helping women just like me. If you want to give breastfeeding a go and find it challenging, seek out breastfeeding cafes, the La Leche League on Facebook for your area, the breastfeeding helpline and other mums via NCT groups (I joined Bumps and Babies).
It doesn’t have to be a lonely, painful and challenging journey. It doesn’t have to be confusing and it certainly doesn’t have to end early. I thought I was done with it at eight weeks and I’m still going at eight months. It can work out and there’s help out there if that’s what you want to do.
2. Feed on demand and save yourself the headache.
I just remember feeling like a deer in a headlight, following every word the midwives told me. The feed every 3 hours stuck. It was so tiring those first few nights in hospital. I even set alarms to wake up to do it!
A few weeks later, I remember a friend telling me she never bothered and just waited for her baby to wake naturally. ‘If she’s hungry, she’ll wake up’. I couldn’t understand it until I started to learn more about breastfeeding, and understood more about feeding on demand. That’s what we do now.
I would save myself the headache next time, and allow myself more sleep. To be honest, they typically wake before the 3-4 hour window anyway.
3. Post-natal blues really does happen. Be prepared for the tears.
I suffered from this one BIG time. I would cry suddenly, my husband startled and panicking as I cried like a baby in a heap on the floor. I’d suddenly start crying in the shower, or whilst cuddling my baby. I was a right mess and my hormones flooded me like this for around 3 weeks, anytime and anywhere. I wish I knew that was coming. I thought I’d have this euphoric feeling but I felt the complete opposite. It was a feeling combining two things: uselessness and overwhelm. I discovered the only things to get me through were my amazing support network: my husband, family and friends. I also joined a mind session for new mums in South London which I found invaluable. It allowed me to talk through those emotions and to normalise it all, hearing from other mums going through it too, well, it was incredibly reassuring.
If you’ve recently become a new mum, what do you wish you knew beforehand? Do any of these resonate?
Olivia says
Thank you for sharing!