When I first returned to work from maternity leave, one thing I started to get clear on was how I wanted to work from here on. I didn’t want to return as if everything was normal because it wasn’t. My life had changed over the last two years: the pregnancy journey and then the year at home with my daughter.
The problem is, speaking to other mothers, we can often feel we’ve got to make a choice: a high paying job or staying at home; a new job that provides flexible working or sucking it up with what there is; a hybrid role or a remote role; staying put or accelerating to a promotion which could equate to more responsibility and less flexibility.
It’s an either/or but why can’t we have it all? Generally because in the world, how can that even be achievable? Here are some tips I’m using to help me navigate through being back at work:
- Be clear on what you want
This is vital for pre-pregnancy but also more importantly after having a baby. There’s no use complaining about not getting the promotion or the lack of flexibility if you haven’t even asked for it. It can take some courage but consider what it is you wish to ask for then think about how you do that. Also take into consideration the type of work you do. Check if there are any examples around you of other parents who have the arrangement that you’re after. If there’s already a blueprint then the chances are that it can be achievable.
So what is it that you wish for? If you wish to have more flexible working, exactly how much would that be? Are you looking at condensed working hours? A complete change to your working week by working only 3 days instead of 5? Or are you looking for an earlier finish at 5pm instead of 6pm?
Write down what you’re after and then and only then, start to prepare for how you ask for it. If your conversation was simply ‘I want more flexibility in my job, how can the company support me with that?’ then it’s not as clear or as powerful as ‘I am seeking more flexibility in my role to support my family arrangements. I wish to change my core hours so that my working day is 8-4pm instead of 9 to 5pm. How can the company support me with this?’.
The simple reason we don’t want to do that (and I know because I’ve been there) is because we’re afraid of the answer, ‘No’.
However, getting to that ‘no’ quicker is like failing fast. You can take something away from it and that something may be that this isn’t the job for you anymore, you may wish to seek something else or it may open up a dialogue for what the company can offer as it could actually be, ‘No, we can’t offer you that BUT what we can do is X’.
2. What support is there for you as a parent?
If your company hasn’t provided information about the policies that are available to you as a parent, be sure to ask or seek them out. This includes guidance around parental leave, maternity leave and any childcare schemes.
Things do change. It’s important that you keep up-to-date with changes that could be very positive for you. For example, the maternity leave policy may have changed providing a longer enhanced maternity provision. If you were considering changing jobs, this may be the thing that makes you stay as you wish to soon add to your family.
3. Are there opportunities to grow and develop?
If your desire is to develop and progress within your organisation, start to have those conversations before returning to work. It helps to seed your intentions in your manager’s mind, and you’ll also understand quickly if there are any opportunities available.
I know of some women who have been promoted whilst of maternity leave, returning to a more senior role with a bigger salary!
4. Make sure you weigh it all up
It’s easy to think about the here and now and the crushing cost of nursery fees. However, don’t forget that nursery isn’t forever. Many women decide to soldier through it because the idea of four to five years out of the workplace would put them in their mind behind when they re-enter.
Be sure that the decisions you make consider both short term and long term implications. It can be easy to quit a job without considering the other benefits it may be providing such as pension contributions, annual leave, the nursery scheme it has etc.
Try to exhaust all possibilities as there are some incredible stories I’ve heard of women going back to shared job roles, being able to work part-time in their current role, condensed working hours, promotions, and so on. I’m sure if we were to speak to them about this, it wasn’t the company who offered them this but rather their courageous and unapologetic nature to ask for it.
These are the areas I’m continuing to consider in my career to ensure that it’s meeting me where I am today. I watched an inspiring YouTube video the other day which said as women we need to stop apologising. We apologise if are children are sick, we explain why we have to leave work early to go pick up our children and we feel the need to justify delays to responding as us being too tired due to the multiple wakes the previous night. Let’s stop. Parenthood, Motherhood, isn’t something that’s a barrier, it’s a blessing.
If we demand it’s treated that way, then we may surprise ourselves how much it actually then is.